SS Crash and I've Touched Greatness laid a shitty trail (http://connect.garmin.com/activity/24224734) yesterday in Orchard Park.

Heading out of the BSG (Buffalo Sports Grille), we got directly into the shiggy behind St John Vianney.  Who knew there were trails back there?  As we dogged face-high branches and navigated slipppery-ass footing we speculated as to who used these trails.  This speculation was cut short when branches would whip back in our face and we hash-crashed into snowbanks.

Two creek crossings brought some more hash-crashes (Mouthful, Gazelleria and yours truly).  Mouthful of Girlfriend took pride in claiming that she was the first one to go in up to her waist.  Deep thoughts!

T-asian (one of our 3 virgins), friend of Slippery Rail Rider, complained that we were running too far.  He complained of a lot of other things, including having nature spread all over him.  If I hadn't known better, I would swear he was calling attention to himself.

A quick beer stop at Mount Me's car to stomp our feet and chat up the other two vrigins (Just Sue and Just Matt).  Turns out that Touched Greatness hadn't really explained hashing to them.  Which is the best way to start.

On-Out to some more snowy running, including a turn around the bases at a local ballfield.  Slippery's declaration that she "got to second base" gave me a moment of hope for some harriette-on-harriette action.  Sadly, that stuff just stays in my brain for now.

Back on streets, we ran up to Riley's for our 2nd BN.  Fertilize Her explained his style of hashing to Tasian and Gazelleria explained how he prefers to run through people's back yards, as opposed to on trail.

Bangs for a Buck talked about the upcoming 600th.  Can we really swing free beer for all the hashers?  Come and find out on Feb 27th!

On-In to BSG, my right knee throbbing in not a good way and to circle.  Surrounded by amused and surprisingly cute waitresses, we sang each other some love and drank our down-downs.  

Shitty trail Crash and Greatness!

Around 20 hashers showed up for a trip around Tonawanda led by Mouthful of Girlfriend and Hare Llama.  The pack met at Rizzo's right next door to the Brighton Eggert Animal Hospital.  Out of towners making it across the international border included Bonkers and Moho from Oakville (actually Niagara Falls, Ontario.)  Just Dan of Holidaze Keg Standing fame made it to his 1st Buffalo trail along with Just Ryan but they would not be "Justs" by the end of the day.

Destructions were given and we were told that we would not cross any "busy" streets unless there was an arrow.  A new sign - SA, meant you had to make a Snow Angel or Show Ass.  Trail started up Brighton to what I think is Kenmore East High School and through their parking lot and the Hare's first apology for not telling us about backchecks.  We were backchecked to a tricky spot because there were no footprints in the snow that led to true trail.  We crossed a snowbank and found marks leading to the SA.  Crash and Gazelleria took the other option and we were back on trail.  We looped back up Eggert and were circle jerked .6 of a mile to the 1st BN / JSN. 

Trail was tough to find from the 1st check but we finally wound our way down Eggert.  The hare apologized a 2nd time since we crossed Eggert without an arrow. We headed down some street I don't remember leading to Sheridan Drive.    I figured we were heading to Mount Me's but trail took some alleyways parallel to Sheridan and a giant BN in a snow pile leading us to the apparently non-busy Eggert again and The Buffalo Tap Room.  We downed 5 or so pitchers of beer and left the bar after singing to the barmaid.

Trail circled around the back of the plaza and just under .3 of a mile to the 3rd BN / Pudding Shot stop in the parking lot.  I reached the BN first and was wondering if it was another BN mark for the Tap Room but realized it was #3 when the walkers approached.  The pudding shots were excellent and we sang a round of Chicago.  Trail led on in down Eggert and back to Rizzo's for the circle. 

Crash and Mount Me ran their first Co-RA circle where Just Dan was named Snatchaphobia for his facial expression caught in a pic while helping ouy a kilt wearing hasherette with a kegstand.  Just Ryan practically named himself while proclaiming he wouldn't cum back - Thank You!  We all chipped in and ate a lot more pizza than I thought we could.

Shitty trail Mouthful and Hare Llama!

Goo’s Batavia Birthday Hash

This was a day that separated the hard core hashers from the pussy wimp wanna be’s!  Cold, snowy, windy, the day after BH3’s East Aurora hash, and 30 miles down the 90.  I had scouted and mapped out a 4 miler but ended up cutting it short to around 3 due to the conditions.  All the cool kids were there – from Buffalo: Crash, Goo, Udder, Hoots, Mount Me, and FukkenFartinFir.  From Flour City: Mudman, Robin Wood, 3-PO, WGAS, Copulator, Cap’t Crunch, Diarrhea, Psyche I’m a Dyke, and Horse Jerker.  The snow was steady as I set the trail using red chalk and flour.  Marks seemed to be holding up ok but as the pack started off I realized several marks were now buried by a light fluffy covering of snow.   WGAS ran past a false into the cemetery but he blows through false trails at every trail.  Copulator hit the 1st backcheck at Ellicott but couldn’t read the mark on the ground.  Eventually everyone made it into the 2nd cemetery entrance and marks were more legible.  Trail eventually followed a fence line to a hole in the fence and out toward a park and the Dewitt Rec area.  Goo was leading a large pack of walkers who were spotted by the short cutting WGAS and the pack followed the walkers along the very active tracks looking for trail.  A train soon approached and Mudman rushed everyone off the tracks and trail was picked up leading to the 1st BN.  It was located at the same spot as the last BN at the previous Batavia Hash next to one of the 3 lakes.  I downed a quick Schmitt’s and set out to live hare the rest of the trail.  The cooler also had Genny for the FC hash (I figure they must like it since they have it at every hash) and Molson Light that I accidentally bought last time I hared. 

Trail crossed back over the tracks to Dewitt Rec and out towards Cedar St. slipping under a fence and over to a brownfield and into the shiggy.  The shiggy emptied onto Florence Ave to a check where I could screw around with footprints in the snow, which worked in confounding the pack for a bit.  Trail was eventually picked up again down Harvester to Main and my favorite; the Singapore Back Check leading to the tunnels in the industrial area and the 2nd BN.  We were joined by a rottweiler that kept cumming back looking for a beer.  There was plenty of graffiti on the walls including a phone number for Josh who apparently needed to be told he was gay.  Horse Jerker called and Josh answered so HJ told him he was gay.  It was on in from there to warm up and circle up.

Everyone changed out of their icy clothes and Mudman started the circle around the pool table.  After the hares, Goo was called back in for her birthday and all January birthdays had to crawl through the never ending Flour City Mill, getting their asses paddled.  Nice Ass Mom’s co-worker joined us for a down down and we were on to accusations which included:  hashing 2 days in a row, driving in from Boston and Toronto, short cutting, peeing on trail, technology on trail, r*cing, sitting in the circle, molting in the circle, being bald in the circle, r*ce gear, sliding in the playground, hash crash, technology in the circle, and latecummers.  A wacky drunk blonde that had to pee really bad joined us for Alouette and we were on out to O’Lacy’s for excellent Pub Food.  I think everyone made it over there for great beer and great cheap food.  Thanks to everyone for celebrating Goo’s birthday!  Looking forward to Psyche I’m a Dyke's farewell / birthday hash next week!    

Here’s the actual trail run:  http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=3397716

How many Hashers does it take to run a hash in 8* weather in snowy East Aurora?   10? 15? 20? 25?  Let me count -- Bangs, FFF, Head Dispenser, Blows My Monkey, SS Crash, Too Good to be Goo, Hare Lama, One Night Hand, Just Bob, Jungle Pits, Pink Cosmo, Gazelleria, Fertilize Her, Trust Me it Won't Spread, Vagitarian, Inverted Camel Toe, Dr FAL, Dr Tyrone Dingleberry, Mudman, Robin's Wood, Runs Both Ways, Yeah!, Gorby, Bishop 2-2, Unknown Grizzly Guy and at least a few others, including a Just xxx who went to Holidaze.  

Trail set out from Openers Bar, which should be renamed Closers Bar, since they were closed!  Closed from losing their f'ing liquor license.  F'ing underage drinkers.  Can't they just break open their parent's liquor cabinet like the rest of us?  Anyway, so, a cold start for the pack.  The hare ran live out of the parking lot around Knox Farms.  A beautiful park, recently donated to the State for Tax Purposes.

On-On to the open fields, 6" snow and -10* wind chill.  No problem for hashers.  Just keep following the blue f'ing chalk and the white tailed deer who were scared out of the forest by the live hare.   Past the horse pastures, past the pile of dead brush, over a fence and through another field marked "No entrance, Private"

Taking that sign as more of an opinion, the trail soon led to some woods.  These were good, because they were out of the wind and on some ski trails.  Ski trails led to checks, which led to more marks (it was a live hare, let us remember).  On-On around and about the woods to a clearing, some more woods, a bridge, and then a BN. (see photo).

Beer, hot chocolate with (Bailey's, Whiskey) and some chatting.  Soon, on-on from the Winter Wonderland to the Big House of Knox Farms.  Chocolate Pudding Shots, Chat with State Employees and Chicago. And thanks god for FFF and his biking cronies.   On-On to the Estate Pond, Horse Barn and broken down fences where the majority of the pack missed the best photo oppurtunity e.v.e.r.  (Dr Tyrone, please post!!!).  On-on to Bowen Road, and the back-ass way to the On-In.

What can I say about the On-In?  Fire, heat, pool, hot-tub, beer, chips, ball-wars, beer, circle, renaming, attempted naming, Flour City, Goo's birthday, Chippendales, Jungle Pits, Just Bob (aka Double Sided D*ck), and a freaking great time.

A shitty time was had by all and thanks to our host and hostess - Jungle Pits and Just Bob.  Cum hash again!!