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Welcome to the Buffalo Hash House Harriers...
A Drinking Club with a Running Problem |
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| 570 jHavelina H3 – Granny Panties and Charlotte the Harlot Live Hare | |  20 or so hashers joined jHavelina Hashers http://hashingtucson.com/ Granny Panties and Charlotte the Harlot in Shoshone park for a live hare hash. Just Matt and Just Joe returned for their 2nd trail, Just Ellen for her 3rd, and Just Wes showed up after over 1 year for his 5th, bringing a couple of virgins along. It was a Tag Event as BH3 / jH3 double-sided commemorative tags were distributed.
Destructions were called "school" and included "decision points" or checks that were either a Yankees logo or x in a circle. 4 marks in a row or 3 slashes on an arrow were true trail and 3 slashes alone or a YBF were false trails. Doc let the hares know we were all Eagles so we didn't need no stinkin Turkey Trail. The hares set out with a 15-minute head start. Gazelleria was getting anxious and thirsty so we gave them 11 or 12 and set out after the hares. Bangs was pointing to his watch saying it wasn’t 15 minutes yet but he was reminded of the first rule. Trail started down Beard Ave for a long stretch without checks but plenty of flour. A couple decision points were placed along the way but the FRBs quickly followed true trail – I think to Amherst St and up to Parkside and Delaware Park near the Zoo. Trail continued behind the zoo to the Ring Rd and a few checks that led to a YBF on Ring Rd as true trail led back towards Amherst St and Nichols School, winding to Colvin where we found Mudman running trail backwards after starting at the “On After” Wellington Pub. Trail led up to Hertel Ave and the BN at Del Denby’s, which was marked “On In.” Plenty of pitchers were filled and some thought due to the On In, the 2.75 mid point was the end of trail but there was more flour to follow. Stops for Head on Trail stopped to shop on trail, finally showing up with a 3 stringed, turtle shell and foreskin $1 instrument. Somewhere along the trail, Blows My Monkey picked up a runner who read about us in the News last year and joined us for a stretch and to the BN. Just 1 song was sung for the barmaid – Meet the Hashers.
The hares were off again and were given at least 10 minutes until the pack started after them. Bangs showed us his watch again but he was ignored. Trail crossed Hertel at Parkside, continued up Parkside to Starin and up the side of an old viaduct to a rails to trails section, which led to the “finish” back at Shoshone Park. Here’s a link to a close trail map: http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/ny/buffalo/365124619865039713
Bangs for a Buck and Head Dispenser were DFLs and finally showed up as a few had to leave before circle. Crash called the hares into the circle and Granny Panties and Charlotte the Harlot took over from there. They started with their own song and then asked for a “sermon.” I believe a sermon may be telling a joke, I’m not sure because Bangs started one, and Charlotte attempted one. The circle continued with virgins, out of towners, and FRBs and DFLs. When asking for a “note” we gave them a hash note but they were looking for a song. They also differentiated between “violations” and “accusations” (I’m still not sure of the difference) which included: peeing on trail, new shoes, looking at life through rose colored glasses, gay matching shirt and shoes, gay shorts, (not that there’s anything wrong with that), compiling a top 5 list of boyfriend attributes, steroid use, buying Coors Light instead of beer, overachieving, skin lesions, and running the trail backwards. We saw plenty of underwear, hairy ass, and heard plenty of new songs.
The real fun people continued on to the Wellington Pub for food, beer, and more laughs. Glasses were stolen, pierced nipples were flashed, claims of lasting all night were made, pictures of boobs and wieners were texted to Ho, shorts were creamed, Steak and Blow Job day was proclaimed (5 weeks after Valentine’s Day), and confessions of a small town girl were made.
Shitty trail Granny Panties and Charlotte the Harlot!
| | Posted by sscrash on Monday, June 29 @ 12:33:29 CDT (7 reads) (comments? | Score: 0) | | | | | | hash #570 ..... "Granny and Harlot Hash in the Buff" | | grannypanties writes "What? Hash #570 "Granny and Harlot Hash in the Buff"
When? June 29th 2:00pm
Where? Shoshone Park 475 Beard Ave Near Hertel and Main
Who? Us, a bunch of running, drinking, singing fools
Why? Because 2 half minds from Tucson want to "hash in the buff"
On Afters: The Wellington Pub, 1541 Hertel
questions? clouth@cox.net
Charlotte the Harlot and Granny Panties, fresh off the jHavelina RDR in Tucson, are very excited to hare the Buffalo H3 hash #570. There will be Walker and Runner trails that will merge at the check(s) and at the finish. Beer will be chugged, songs will be sung, and trails will be run.
ON-ON,
Granny and Harlot
"
| | | | | | | #569 Rulebook Returns to Live Hare | | 20 hashers showed up at Carubba’s Fairview Inn for a live hare trail set by former Buffalo and current BEND Oregon hasher Rulebook http://www.coh3.org/ and 400+ trail runner Bangs for a Buck. Phart, Cums Across the Border, and Yet to be Named Just Kelly made it down from north of the border. The son of Sir and Ho, Just Matt, also showed up for his 1st Buffalo hash and Virgin Just Joe from the Goodbar Sessioneers popped his Hash cherry. Just Ellen returned for her 2nd hash, counting on our late start as she seemed to show up just in time to join the pack.
Destructions were given by Rulebook, which included a warning that the BN was a “hazard.” At the time he was referring to its proximity to poison ivy (which I have an increasingly bad case of right now but I’m sure it was from searching for a lost golf disc on Wednesday and I didn’t even find it) but another surprise hazard would be awaiting the pack. Marks were the same as ours except the BC was a CB and false trails may be placed after more than 2 marks. He asked for an “honest hasher” to be the timer for the 12 minute 11 second head start. Luckily for him, Oakville hasher Phart was in the pack who volunteered to use his metric watch. The hares were off and the pack returned to the bar to wait for Phart’s signal.
Gazellleria was hot on the trail, running at about a 5:69 pace. Trail continued straight up McKinley for several blocks until Gazelleria hit a CB7. The pack may have miscounted marks and was slowed down a bit looking for flour until a helpful neighbor gave us a heads up on where the marks were. We wound through some side streets and came to a check on E. Main Street. FukkinFartinFir had been running parallel to the trail and saw no marks. The pack was once again slowed down as the marks were finally found across the street from the check and only a block away from the BN in a parking lot near E. Main and Pine. The beer was under a bush right next to a parked police car looking for speeders – the real hazard. We hung around trying to be inconspicuous and finally carried the bag across the lot and waited until the cop turned on his lights in pursuit of a car. We cracked open the Labatts Blues and started a round of Chicago.
FRB Gazelleria missed the BN and headed out on a mission to catch the hares. Wee Captain made up his own Eagle Trail that he, FFF, and Luguharwuhl decided to follow along the creek below. They also made their own BN soon after. The rest of the pack headed to the traffic circle, up Buffalo Street past the site of my 1st hash (Braymiller’s #403) winding through more side streets to a CB3 and eventually to South Park Ave, across S Park along Tops where we found a very thirsty Gazelleria who lost the trail at that point. The pack picked up the flour across a baseball field, through the fairgrounds to Clark St and on in for the circle.
Pitchers were poured and the beer was flowing as we awaited the arrival of the 3 trailblazers. Luguharwuhl had the sense to follow the On Home as FFF and Wee Captain apparently backtracked trail looking for the pack that was already on in. They finally arrived and Crash led the circle, starting off with the hares and a round of Shitty Trail. On to the virgins Just Matt & Joe, a 60th birthday in April - Phart, FRB Yeah and FBI Mouthful of Girlfriend. Accusations were opened which included: missed the last hash (several), overachievers (FFF, Grateful Head, Gazelleria), peeing on trail (Matt), wearing your hat and drinking twice – twice (Cums Across), racist clothing (Head Dispenser), surpassing 400 hashes (Bangs), wearing 2 pairs of shorts (FFF), turning his head to cough (Cums), latecummer (Just Ellen), setting beer next to a cop car (hares), and making their own Eagle trail and BN. The Hash Shit was presented to Mouthful of Girlfriend. We finished off with a round of Today is Monday. Somehow Rulebook avoided a technology in the circle accusation as he was videotaping parts of the circle. “One of the best circles ever!” – Bangs for a Buck.
Shitty Trail Rulebook and Bangs!
On On, Crash
| | | | | | | 568 Yeah's Happy Hour Hash | | 12 hashers showed up at D'Arcy McGee's for free beer (or $1.50 for an upgrade), trail, and a circle. The Buckin Buffalo finally caught on to Yeah's stuffing their entry box every week so he's moved down the street to D'Arcy McGee's. He finally filled the list with 50 names including: Sue Flour, Chris Harrier, Dan Strider, and Paul Schaefer -he must have been with the band- oh, that one was an actual person? Labatts was served for free but you could choose a pint of anything on draft for a nominal fee so I chose Sierra Nevada and McSorley's pale ales as Goo stuck to her favorite - Smithwicks. I hit the check in table again as “Wayne and Nancy” to pick up 4 more vouchers. A cover band hit the stage and we filled a giant glider booth waiting for trail to start. Mount Me had to split and Runs Both Ways vanished.
We were on out for destructions. The pack (now down to Yeah, Hoots, Udder, FFF(he’s alive!), Gazelleria, Pink Cosmo, Crash and Goo) was on arrow away from downtown for a long false trail, at least 1 building front. Back towards downtown to a check at Delaware and Chippewa where we were in sight of a false across Chip and a BN in front of Brink’s. On in where hash cash was collected for pitchers of Smithwicks and Yuengling. Out to the patio where Goo quickly procured a Long Trail pint glass. We opened circle and recruited a couple potential harriettes to join us for a few down downs. They bought us a round of Lemon Drops as we were joined by Just Paul, Wet n Drippy, and a brunette in a black SECURITY shirt. Yeah said there was more trail and FFF suggested the Tap Room but we opted to exit at that point. Shitty trail Yeah! I hope you win another happy hour at D’Arcy McGee’s which is a better venue that the Buckin Buffalo!
| | Posted by sscrash on Saturday, June 13 @ 07:42:30 CDT (25 reads) (comments? | Score: 0) | | | | | | | How to make jello shots:
Begin with the jello. Small, large or extra large packets will work. Have your children open them and pour them out. Fail to explain how the white powder turns into colored jello.
Add boiling water. Also add 4 virgins - Just Ellen, Just Lara, Just Allison and Just Erik.
Add your choice of alcohol. Children can help with the measuring. This is a life skill lesson. You don't want them making crappy shots when they're at college!
Add your choice of hares - Vagitarian and Inverted Camel Toe.
Add some cold water. Not too much, too too little. Likewise, add some more hashers - Shots from Her Thinger, Bangs for a Buck and yours truly.
Set to chill. Chilling can involve a live-hared trail through the village, the Bishop's House, "garage doors", Price Rite and beer roadies. Chilling can also involve talking smack for hours and sticking one's fist in one's mouth.
Enjoy the shots! Thanks for a shitty trail Vagitarian and Inverted. Hope to see some of the non-virgins back again. Get ready for another live-hare experience on June 18th!
On On
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